A NEW DAY

I was sitting watching GAC this morning, and I started thinking about my lil bean. A friend of mine that I went to high school with told me, to pray that the bean prays for me. I never thought of looking at like that, since s/he is in my Father's Arms. Then my sister told me to imagine my neice holding them and singing a lullaby to them. (yes that brought tears to my eyes). The point I am making is this, God didn't give me what He didn't want me to have, SOOO...

A NEW DAY

I decided that I will walk every day, and build myself back up to where I was before the miscarriage. Yes, I said this before, BUT I now have people, FRIENDS, holding me accountable. :)

I do so much better when someone tells me to do something!! I have set a goal to lose 20 pounds before my NEXT vacation, which is July 8. EXACTLY, a year from my surgery last year, and YES it is attainable, and I know it is!

So, I'm going to TRY to post everyday on my blog, my feeling, and what exercises I did, and how long, starting today...


I walked 5 miles, in 90 minutes, and felt really good. may go for another walk later, if I feel up for it.

Thanks to each of you for supporting me!!

Much Love,
Leigh

May 11, 2010

Today was my due date for my little Miracle that God called home on Sept. 25, 2009. Please keep me in your prayers, the last couple of days have been hard. I know that when the time is right He will bless me with a child, but I am getting very very impatient here. We do have a dr. appt. for June 9, so maybe we can get some little bean started 1 way or another!
Thanks for the comments, emails, and love from all of you!!

Have a Good Day!
Leigh

Happy Mothers Day

This year is going to be extremely hard, BUT I can do it! I would have been due this Tuesday with my lil bundle of joy that God called home back in Sept. I know everything happens for a reason, and I accept that and will not dwell on it today.

The things I have learned from my kids:

* They love to interrupt you when- cooking.... taking a shower...peeing.... taking a nap... talking on the phone... LOL!! but I am reminded that they are doing JUST fine!! I wouldn't trade those moments for anything.. did I mention.. having to pee while I am in the shower.. fighting while I am on the phone.. lol!! seriously.. every time.. but again wouldn't trade it for a thing..

* They love me unconditionally. Whether I am having a very bad day or a great day. They love me more than I can ever imagine! (But I love them that much more!)

* Never take them for granted. I am very lucky to have 2 GREAT, INTELLIGENT, and HEALTHY kids. They make me very proud of who they are and who they are becoming.

* The word "mommy". It can be used MILLIONS of ways. And each way has it's own meaning, and I wouldn't change a thing. Especially when Cody SCREAMS MOOOOOOM! all I have to do is say "Tiff". ha ha! (poor girl stays in more trouble when he screams that!)

* You don't have to spend money to make them happy. My kids are some of the few that just appreciate everything we give them. They enjoy our family time. I love to hear, "are we going walkinmg today"? although they have to talk me into going, I know they love going somewhere with us, and it doesn't cost a penny! and we get "quiet, family time" something noone can ever replace, and they can get into some deep conversatons on those walks.


Those are just a few things. But those kids light up my world daily. yes we have our ups and downs but I wouldn't trade a thing. HECK.. I'm trying to have more kids! I never thought I wanted them until my "oops" happened and we call her Tiffany, and about 6 months into that, I decided I wanted a whole bunch of those lil curtain crawlers! I had 2 perfect pregnancies, when I was younger, and have the best 2 kids I could ever ask for! They are Christians, they love the Lord, do great in school, and value our family! (and pray nightly that mommy has another baby, healthy this time Lord and HURRY!! that is words from them! PRICELESS!!!)

I will call my mother today, it will be short and sweet, and I am not in much of a relationship with her, as she is an alcoholic that refuses to get help, and I refuse to let her bring me down on our day!

I hope each of you sit back and enjoy the day with your families. If you are a mom, Happy Mother's Day to you!! If you are trying, like me, hang in there, it'll happen when it's meant to!

Have a GREAT DAY!!

Leigh

Gonna try this again.. to hopefully be more clear

When I divorced my ex-hubby, a friend told me NOT to rent an apartment because it was throwing money away. Well... this "friend" is now my husband. He and I dated about a year, and I moved in with him, then we married 2 months later.

His mom and I were talking a few weeks ago, and she mentioned buying a car after we had our house paid off. She built my husband a lil bachelor pad, and that is where we live. We only owe about a year left I *think*.

Well... yesterday, my husband somehow another brought up the "rent". I said the "house note" and he said no, the rent. I said huh?? He said, I told mom that whoever lives in this house will have to pay rent. I was like WTH.. (to be nice about it, because those are NOT the words I said).

I then told him, that he needed to buy me a house.

Am I wrong?? or was I mislead?? he TOLD me way back when, not to pay rent, and that is what we are doing now????

hope I cleared this up a lil...

Leigh

the 1 thing I HATE

is SURPRISES!!!!!

I found out a few weeks ago that mine and my husbands "place" will be paid off this summer. Supposed to be a Good thing right?? WRONG!!! My hubby told his mother, that WHOEVER lived here would have to pay rent.. WTH?? I just sooo think thats wrong. I lived this when I lived with my mom and step dad, I can NEVER see making my children pay me rent to put a roof over there head!

Hubby confronted me on this today, and thankfully I didn't cry, but very much wanted to. But I told him we HAVE to find our own place, that if I'd known this before, we would have already moved out and bought a house or rented one, whichever be the case

Can ya'll please tell me that I'm right about this situation??? All i need is 1 more thing to stress about in my life :)

thanks!!
Leigh

dr appt

As most of you know, I had a tubal reversal in July of 09, yep last summer. We got PG the 1st month, yep didn't take very long. WEEELLLLLL... it's been 7 LONG months and we haven't gotten PG again, SOOO because of my age, (36), I decided that I will follow the advice of some friends and make a dr. appt. to see what is going on. I will be seeing my dr. on June 9, to find out what he can do, or what I need to do so we can have a baby.

Please continue to pray for us, it is something this family wants sooo bad. Yes, this post is MUCH BETTER than the previous one!

Thanks bunches,
Leigh

Terrible Mom

WARNING.. this is gonna be a sad post.. but I have a heavy heart so here goes...


We (my hubby and I) had been planning for about a month to take the kids to a crawfish boil today. I ended up working a lil later than usual, but I thought, what the heck it'll be aight, I will just freshen up, and take them anyway.. it's gonna be outside so it won't matter.

Well.. I recieved word there was PLENTY there to eat, so I decided to get a shower. While I was in there I heard my hubby, daughter, and son SCREAMING at each other. So, I decided we weren't going, if we can't get along at home.. HOW IN HELL am I gonna take them anywhere?

Tiffany stuck her head in the door and said "Big Daddy said we can still go". I proceeded to tell her, "But we not going, we staying home". She slammed the door, started crying, and told Cody that I said we weren't going. So, he stuck his head in the door and said "mom are we really not going?" I told him I was putting pj's on and that I would have to find something to cook, because I had not laid anything out, since I wasnt' planning to cook.

I am one of those moms that do not talk when I'm angry. They are my children and I refuse to talk to them when I am mad. and they know that.

Tiffany called me every name in the book. Asked me why I had to marry THAT MAN. got up and slammed her beddroom door and the door going in and out of the house at LEAST 100 times. (yes my power bill should be up this month, and no i never opened my mouth). I also do not eat when I am mad, so i had to ask them what they wanted me to do with the chicken. they said whatever.. and I let them know that I am not eating so now they say they aren't either...

My problem is this. How could I possibly want more children, if I can't have everyone in my house at the moment get along. I feel like a TERRIBLE mom.. just TERRIBLE.. because my children seem to hate my husband, and i PRAYED for YEARS for a man that God would lead to me and He did. Jamie is my heart and soul, he has changed me and my children in so many ways. I just wish that they could get along.

But this is my problem. I came to realize that they got along GREAT until I got home from work, and then the day got doomed. I had a GREAT day at work and we were supposed to go as a family to a crawfish boil, and I don't even eat the junk. I am now depressed again, thanks to the terrible day that I had after 6 o'clock tonight. I just wish I could close my eyes and it had all been a dream.

I'm to the point where I dont' care if I have any more kids or not, because He isn't gonna give them to me until everyone here gets along. (or at least I dont' know why He would).

just pass me the TERRIBLE MOM of the year award